Not quite

Electrical outlet, currently. Currant oatmeal scone, a venn diagram. I'll fight a man, won't kill em. Gorilla glue, herbivore. Religion for, no one deem. Spleen to appendix, explode. Implode like, solar. Molar hurts, drill time. Rhyme hard, brick & mortar. Porter & lager, drunken tiger style. Lyle Lovett, got a big ass band. Rand, I shrug. Drug, ingest copious. Dopey, sneezey, and grumpy, my presence dwarf. Barf, too many illicit substances. Rain dances, with wolves. Pulls and pushed, tug o' war. Or end conflict invisibly, can't see optometrically. Geometrically, might stab you with a compass. Rumpus room gets jumping, crackalackin and mackin. Actin niggas like Denzel, fall off like King Kong. Dong ring big, like Ben. Ten, styles transform extra terrestrial.

The Reanimated

I had a dream that I was surviving the zombie apocalypse with some people, and all the groups of people would do their own thing but work with each other when they needed to. For whatever reason I had to choose between two girls that I never had to choose between in the first place. I ended up being friends with one of them which confused the hell out of everyone. What a weird one...

And she met some guy

She's holding the camera a foot in front of their faces. I probably couldn't care less about her, but for whatever reason I'm really curious as to how she met the guy. I was that dude with the mental patient hairdo, to this day I'm not really sure if he cared what people thought of him back then. What the hell have you been up to? Probably a lot of really interesting shit, you probably dicked around on your parents' dollars for a while. I hope you two are happy together.

I know this comes off as being about someone I actually know very well or really do care about. Honestly it really was about someone that was barely even an acquaintance.

let the beat build

I think I have the impulse to talk about Kara all the time here because I spend so much time acting like nothing's going on and hiding shit. So on to Kara.

I had an impressively shitty day today, couldn't motivate myself to leave the house at all. I justified it to myself since I was starting to get sick but I know I didn't need that much sleep. Anyway Kara closes Mondays and I kind of just sat around waiting for her to text me or something but eventually I just texted her. She had been getting water from work so I had found a brita pitcher on amazon for seven bucks and bought it for her, and went over and gave it to her tonight. I feel a palpable tension, I guess she didn't really know what I was doing but a text is never that intrusive. I also feel kind of bad because her kidney infection might be coming back which is a major downer. I had a dream a while ago that I was cheating on Kara with some extremely unattractive girl that I couldn't care less about. What's it all mean? Kara Kara Kara Kara. Okay that should do it.

I went out drinking with some people the other night because they owed me from a previous favor. All of a sudden hanging out with these people kind of pissed me off. All the negativity and shit talking which is usually par the course for these people just really got to me. I got into a fight with Kara at work the next day because of it and I'm just hoping it was an isolated incident. I don't want to have to cut off contact with them, I may have to limit it a bit though.

How do you imagine the weather on the day that you die?

Pat Rack

I got to thinking a little bit today about the stuff we accrue over time just living life. It was kind of weirdly reaffirmed talking to nick at Norm's tonight, he was saying that his mom keeps everything and it makes his dad crazy. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this now so I'm just putting it out there. Things are things, and they're nice but do they really matter?

let me put this down

I just got back from class, I'm a little shaky I'm not sure why. I was a little dizzy riding back not sure why. I saw a dog being walked with an expression that got me thinking. That was a non sequitur.

When I unfriended Andy, he talked a bunch of trash about my relationship with dad relating it to Barry. Truth is, he has no idea what the fuck he's talking about. Who knows what I got from my dad, I'm sure he has good qualities. I learned to be a man from my mom. Nature versus Nurture. I'm sure there's some Jeff in me somewhere but my character crystallized from splinters of experience from Michele. I don't remember a lot from my childhood but I very clearly remember being baffled by that odd hair that started appearing on my face. For whatever reason that will always be a formative memory for me, my mom teaching me to shave. Anyways I'm losing my focus, if he wants to have a relationship we'll have one. And I'm fine with that.

writer's block 75 spf

It's when I'm sitting here staring at the gaping white maw of my ineptitude that I truly feel like a piece of utter shit. I'm being hyperbolic but these days writing has been the only thing I've really felt proud of in a while. I'm sitting here right now at 2:15 AM at my crappy apartment watching Malcolm in the Middle and biting the shit out of my finger tips. I have nothing of beauty to put here and that kind of bothers me.

I'm going to call Ursula tomorrow and tell her about the sorta serious relationship I've suddenly found myself in. I don't know how any of this is going to end up but at least there's a ghost of a chance with Kara. I'd love to give you a shot Ursula but you're about two thousand miles away from me. You should know that you're justified in having about ten thousand times more confidence than you do. Here goes nothing.