let the beat build

I think I have the impulse to talk about Kara all the time here because I spend so much time acting like nothing's going on and hiding shit. So on to Kara.

I had an impressively shitty day today, couldn't motivate myself to leave the house at all. I justified it to myself since I was starting to get sick but I know I didn't need that much sleep. Anyway Kara closes Mondays and I kind of just sat around waiting for her to text me or something but eventually I just texted her. She had been getting water from work so I had found a brita pitcher on amazon for seven bucks and bought it for her, and went over and gave it to her tonight. I feel a palpable tension, I guess she didn't really know what I was doing but a text is never that intrusive. I also feel kind of bad because her kidney infection might be coming back which is a major downer. I had a dream a while ago that I was cheating on Kara with some extremely unattractive girl that I couldn't care less about. What's it all mean? Kara Kara Kara Kara. Okay that should do it.

I went out drinking with some people the other night because they owed me from a previous favor. All of a sudden hanging out with these people kind of pissed me off. All the negativity and shit talking which is usually par the course for these people just really got to me. I got into a fight with Kara at work the next day because of it and I'm just hoping it was an isolated incident. I don't want to have to cut off contact with them, I may have to limit it a bit though.

How do you imagine the weather on the day that you die?