Imma rambling man

You're naive or maybe I'm naive I don't really know. That shit never would've worked in a million years, but then again I have no idea. Maybe it's a defense mechanism? Because I definitely lack one of those. And it sucks.

Only time will tell.

The Real Oasis

I've passed through so many mirages
Parched and sun spanked, alluring palms and wet water
Resting again praying for sanity
Betrayal fell swiftly on unsuspecting camel
Looking frantically for a sign
Trying to climb the horizontal plane
Gripping sand watching it pass between my fingers
What kind of existence is this?
Falling endlessly, sprawled, can't touch anything
This des(s)ert will be the death of me.
Baked alive on the flaky crust
Estimated temperature of six thousand kelvin
He's gonna burn the pie if she's not careful
The icing on the cupcakes is almost ironic
At the epicenter, a lone apple tree, so apropos



still not done...

The desert line is the end of the serious version, now I'm doing a joke version.

Oasis

What does it mean when the object of my desire is out of reach even in my dreams?

embarazoso

So I was at the market just now at around 12:30. There's a ridiculously effeminate gay dude working there. Somehow now there's an even more effeminate gay dude working there as well. Both of them on the register, I was wearing a wife beater, paid all in ones, see the post title.

Revolving

Beacons flashing at each other in the darkness
The luminous moon waning in the heavens
They are Algol
A distant light unites star-cross'd lovers
Enveloped in velvety darkness
A forest aching for sunlight
One star extinguished by the candle snuffer
Just under the radar another is born
To be continued...

I think I'm going to write this line by line.

I'm done for a bit, I don't feel like I did when I started this.

KARMAGEDDON!!!

THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF KARMAGEDDON HAVE RIDEN UPON US AND RENDED THE 405 ASUNDER!!!

Distract

I don't need any diversions right now. I don't need to replace one vice with another either. She said that when I drink all I do is cry, but in my defense she was doing the same damn thing. Also I kind of disagree, I feel like we had an okay time otherwise we wouldn't have been talking for so long. I recognize that as a true statement though. I inadvertently had a couple beers with Juan last night and just instantly wanted to wallow in my own misery. I'm going to play tennis with David now that I've wasted this day off... I really want some candy too.

Gonzales

Just a quick anecdote (I kept putting antidote here wondering why it looked weird) before my dumb poem. Gigi came in today and while I was making her drink she said she saw me the other day on main street with my girlfriend. I can't remember how I responded but it was extremely awkward. Now on to the main event.

Honey fumigation exterminating taste buds.
Clinging to dear life on the tiniest licorice strand.
Submerged in the drink, choking on Turkish saltwater taffy.
Head bobbing up & down grasping for peach ring life preservers.
Bloodshot thirsty eyes scouring for sour gummi sharks.
Jagged sugar coated bluffs with beckoning handhelds.

I feel like it's incomplete but we'll see if I finish it.

iyi yolculuklar

I think I finally talked about you too much tonight. I've talked about you to people that know you very well and people that have no clue. To people that know exactly what it's like to be in my situation, my exact situation. Et cetera et cetera. This sounds callous to the uninitiated but I'm murderously ecstatic to have a month where I don't ever have to smell that heavenly scent. Where I don't have to look up and see you standing there, fighting to not throw my heart up. Next time you're getting charged double for that ice coffee. Be safe Diri, I'll see you on the other side.

Some going away music here

Your pastimes consisted of the strange,
And twisted and deranged,
And I hate that little game you have called
Crying lightning

peach perfection

no mangoes sub blueberries no apple juice sub peach juice.

Elsewhere

^ what they're up to at Brentwood.

I really haven't been keeping up with my exercise regimen at all. Not that I was particularly methodical about it before, I just never really made excuses. If I had free time I would do something. I did at least make the right decision financially and not spend money on frivolous crap. At the same time I really don't want to be alone tonight. Piece and love yall.

yup

Because I know you love it.

the ether

It was Kara's birfday yesterday, she's been on this spinning rock for a quarter of a century now. We waited at sake house for what seemed like an hour and couldn't get a table because there were seven of us. She was getting pretty depressed from being sober, so I figured out that she liked tequila and went and bought a bottle of patron silver while they got in-n-out. She gave me a ridiculous hug that somehow pushed me back like ten feet. Tyler, me, and Kara killed the bottle which put me in a pretty significant drunken stupor with the help of a couple beers. I walked Kara home somehow and she called me to make sure I got home safely. About three hours later I woke up on the floor, still pretty intoxicated, held a bagel in my mouth and started biking to class. Afterwards I helped Juan drop his bike off at the shop and ate some bomb Campos with him. Next I took a nap at my place aka the oven before work. Here's where the interesting thing happened.

I've never really had this feeling before but I woke up sweating my ass off, super paranoid that the alarm wasn't going to go off for some reason. I couldn't remember what I was dreaming about, but I knew for sure that I was dreaming about you.

On that note I closed with Victoria today. Something struck me today for the first time about her. She talks so much about herself that I think it would actually be impossible to have a real conversation with her. Regardless it's still entertaining to work with her. Also Anton came in today. That was fucking hilarious. I didn't know that it was common knowledge that he disliked me, for a moment I thought Victoria might know some shit. I got a little surge of adrenaline and for a second thought he might do something awesome like kick my ass. Unfortunately nothing happened other than it being crazy awkward. Rachel said some funny shit about him and T-dawg. I forgot to tell Victoria that I should borrow her car and bring her the keys back at Cacao when Anton is there, I thought that was funny. Also some lady came in and ended up having a conversation with Tori about Turkey vis a vis Talya. It seems like now that your name is taboo I hear it more than ever.

I had a crazy craving for mcdonalds today and it's sitting here beckoning me. Sorry for the journal-esque entry, felt like writing this shit today. I bid you all adieu.

not a metaphor

When I first got these bites I didn't really want to scratch them all that bad. They started to itch a bit after a couple months. Eventually I scratched them out of curiosity. Well, it was more than curiosity, they were beckoning me. They receded almost immediately as they will do. I forgot about the itch, the sensation of friction err scratching, even looking at the absence of a bite I started to long for them. Some other mysterious insect chomped on my dermis. I was covered head to toe in wounds. Even from the first scratch, I knew I wasn't supposed to be scratching. I didn't care though, scratching sent me into a frenzied euphoria. I was hit in the head with a frying pan, thrown off a moving bus, kicked in the scrotum, and so on and so forth. I really didn't care, the scratching was worth it to me. Now I sit here fucking dying to scratch the shit out of these things, but I think it's time to grab the calamine.

untitled

just another manic monday

It's a curious thing how you can be surrounded by the most loved people in your life and somehow still feel alone. I apologize to everyone that had to deal with my quieter than usual self today. Food was awesome, I'm proud to be an American, can't wait to wake up in six hours for class.

odious blogsmith

These blogs are interesting things. I feel like most people use blogs to further their careers or opinions, I guess just less personal than I do. Truthfully the internet is so vast, everyone who will ever read this probably knows me personally. This is an incomplete thought but thanks for attempting to follow my often convoluted thought processes.

I worked with Janet all day today, which was funny attempting to actively be positive. She told me we weren't allowed to steam matcha with the milk, which I did know, I just don't care enough about the machine to deny the customer her libation. I feigned ignorance yet again and she kicked me off the bar, yet again. I brought stuff to make sandwiches for dinner but no one wanted to eat anything from my backpack. Kinda made me sad for some reason...

On a lighter note Janet has already put in the paperwork for my promotion. Starting tomorrow I'm the new Customer Service Crustacean at Peets Coffee & Tea Montana! I haven't read the new job duties yet but hopefully no toileting is involved.

hypothetically speaking

What would happen if I just went to work and told myself I'm gonna have a good day no matter what happens? Does that work? I feel like maybe that's what I do already but sometimes I just can't pull it off. If I keep it in my mind to do it regardless maybe it'll work. Yesterday large single mocha with whip introduced me to her friend as the happiest person she'll ever meet. Who knows, was that accurate or what?

I'm gonna go make it a good day.

Edit: large single ICED mocha, what an idiot I am.

asphyxiated

Choking on my own words and bile. I can't help but listen to the Siren sometimes. It's just me, no Argonauts. Altitude dropped drastically, the Hindenburg had a crew of about a hundred. It's an optical illusion looking at both sides of the coin simultaneously. I should have just let my phone die today. I'm allowed to experience emotion, I'm pretty sure, and her Beefalo were exquisite. I'm sometimes doubtful of my ability to experience any emotion whatsoever, some people really challenge that assertion. I actually choke on it at times. I must slay Medusa.

My plans were shot in the foot tonight due to people I hate so much I refuse to ever see them again. To my Harry Potter fans with a netflix account, watch American Dad season 3 episode 3 "Dope & Faith". I'm going to go enjoy some peaceful meditation with a cup of Buddha Peak.

home is where the heart is

Patton Oswalt did a joke where he said he was a man without a country because he hated the war in Iraq but at the same time hated hippies. Every year I used to go to Anime Expo here in LA to reaffirm that, I too, am a man without a country. I just tried to check it out again for the first time in three or four years and I was vastly disappointed. Me and Chris got there around eleven, found parking, and headed over to the convention center. We were pretty much immediately told that it was closing. One of the few things I used to genuinely enjoy about AX was the never ending activity. You could find any number of things to do at times of the day when hardly anyone would be awake normally. We did get to see some huge nerds though which was pretty awesome. I gotta give Chris credit, he's had crazy ass hemorrhoids (no pun intended, or was it?) and he came out with me on what was certain to be a pretty pointless adventure. He was high as a satellite though.

Part of me thinks I don't get along with these people because of my anxiety or whatever. At the same time I really don't feel the need to wear a raccoon hat or dress up as Faye Valentine. For whatever reason these hobbies generally lend themselves to socially inept and awkward people, which I will admit, I'm not completely bereft of these qualities. Somehow I still feel better adjusted than ninety percent of them, and I'm being generous there. However I'm a huge asshole and most of them are incredibly nice. The community is very forgiving of any kind of quirk, disease, or sexual deviance you may have. Anyways looks like I'm gonna miss out on some nostalgia this year, maybe I'll try again next year.

Oh look, today was the first Friday of the month, I wonder if there were any special events going on that I might've wanted to take anyone to.

escribiendo

I've had the urge to write a lot more, I'm not entirely sure why but I have inklings. Reading is another beast entirely. I write specifically to get my thoughts out a lot of the time, with reading I don't think I have the concentration at the moment. When I'm sitting around reading I feel very anti-social, which is something I'm trying not to feel. There's only a couple people I know that I could sit down and read with, one lives in Long Beach now and the other...

It's a beautiful day out, sometimes I'm not sure why I want to leave so badly.

Edit: Itunes shuffled me the most depressing song ever. Shit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Qo4uGrGEtU