just changed my name

On google because I got all paranoid since I was able to find myself on google. I am now Fuu Manchu, hopefully nobody will be terribly confused. Having a shitty week, just got three flat tires in three days.

hey fuckheads

have you been clicking the ads to contribute to my alternate source of revenue to continue this facade that I call a life? just kidding, informal poll time.

In what order do you perform tasks in the shower? Here's my conditioner trick: I shampoo and wash the hair then put the conditioner in. Here's the tricky part. I leave it in while I wash my chiseled body then after it's worked its magic I wash that shit out and I'm done! At some point in there sometimes I shave my back. My average shower lasts about ten minutes. i DO NOT dawdle.

I had a redbull at work because they insist on training people during the closing shifts now, pretty sure it's a conspiracy to make me leave. Now I can't sleep. I've been reading this which kind of inspired me to write something here. I was looking through some flikr from people with some talent and just got me thinking about my talent and if anyone gives a shit about what I try and get out of me. It pisses me off because all the time I'm thinking about ideas for short stories and the like and I never follow up on it.

I was thinking about how true that Patton Oswalt joke is. On open mic nights it really is the fucking crazy people whose insanity is true comedic genius. To me, the internet is a giant open mic night. A teenager pouring their heart out in a run-on sentence, a conspiracy theorist believing they found their soapbox, hipsters juxtaposing themselves with the general public, 4chan people who don't realize how FUCKING STUPID they sound, I could go on really. It just makes me feel... superior. I swear to god if I ever spell out lawl I give anyone who reads this post permission to brutally murder me.

Anyways I think I'm coming off a little pessimistic here. The optimist says, "The glass is half full." The pessimist says, "The glass is half empty." The rationalist says, "This glass is twice as big as it needs to be." - from a book I got recently about understanding philosophy through humor. Next post is gonna be a short story, fuck it. Got this song stuck in my head. Let it wriggle its way into yours.

ugh

So I've been ridiculously sick for the past week and a half. Last Saturday night I went to see Shutter Island with Marina, during the first five minutes I started to get the chills and about twenty minutes after that I started to get a fever.

Shutter Island was such a great movie. I'm the kind of person who goes into a movie trying to figure out the twists and shit before they're revealed. Needless to say my head exploded watching this movie. At some point I had to just give up and take it for what it was. When we came out we had completely different conceptions as to what just happened for the past 138 minutes. Anyways there's a lot of stuff I feel I need to read the book to understand so I plan to do that after I finish my current one, which is turning out to be a juggernaut in itself.

I've always been an advocate of wrap based snacking, but I'm afraid I can't advocate this new McSnack-Wrap (I have no idea how to grammarize that). Even with extra mac sauce and onions (which is coincidentally how I enjoy my McDoubles) it's just not worth it. I'd rather have those big juicy beef patties on a sesame seed bun, buh dah bah bah bah, I'm lovin it. I'm sorry about all my allusions to meat because I know about 75% of the people reading this are vegetarians...

Sorry to digress, I ended up having bronchitis but on top of that Sunday night, early Monday morning I started throwing everything up. This was disturbing at first because I was throwing up pizza sauce, red gatorade, and cherry soda, so I thought I was just throwing up radioactive blood. I spent about six hours at the clinic waiting out Marinas shift, passed out and slept literally the rest of Monday. Now the rest of the week my appetite has been totally FUCKED UP and we'll see how life continues on Monday when I go back to work. I'll put some pics up from the Chinese New Years parade later, gung hay fat choy, sun nin fai lok. I'm gonna go lie down.

cot damn

Jesus that rap battle still makes me laugh.

Just in case you haven't seen the commercials, all you can eat pancakes is back at IHOP (!). I went there on Tuesday with Marina because I had a craving for pancakes for whatever reason. Ended up getting the big ass steak omelet with NY cheesecake pancakes and let me tell you, those are not good. Maybe they f'd up somehow but they tasted like regular pancakes to us with some strawberries on top. When it came time to pay I wanted Marina to pay on her card so the waitress would get the tip for sure and I would give Marina the cash for it. Marina didn't want to do this for some reason and I had to yell at her until she acquiesced (I spelled this right first try).

Here's another thing that happened to me. I go to the dental college for my teeth because it's cheaper than the dentist. I kind of know why now but I think it's still worth it. I'm always there for at least two and a half hours because he has to get his busy teachers to check up on everything and he inevitable screws shit up. He always breaths heavily when he's mashing on my teeth but that's kind of endearing. Anyways about a month ago I had to get some prescription mouthwash because my gums are totally fubar. The problem is that this witches brew is slowly killing my taste buds and I can't taste anything anymore. Sucks...

Here's a tangent, in those restaurant commercials where they show the fork cutting a bite out of an entree, where does the fork go? Do they just take it out of frame and end it? What's up with that.

It snowed A LOT on Tuesday. If anyone who orders food for delivery is reading this, don't order fifteen minutes before the place closes and the guy has to take his goddamn bike and bring a sandwich to your house six blocks away on streets that haven't had the snow cleared off them by hydroplaning all six blocks and give him a three dollar tip and expect him NOT to go buy three dollars worth of eggs and throw them at your house later.



Taxi drivers are psychotic in the city. Also don't look up when you see these signs.

Just finished cooking breakfast for us so I'm gonna make like a ball and bounce.