I'm sick and fucking tired of parking enforcement officers. I want to sell this god damn car and be done with these pricks. I'm sick of trying to be a good person and not see any good karma come my way. All I get is hard work and minimal rewards. I'm sorry if this comes off as a bit base and angry, but I'm a tad buzzed.
I appreciate the efforts of the parking enforcement officers that see a PARKED 1989 Honda CRX with penises stenciled all over it, and think, "Hmm that guy/gal has a ton of dough and won't mind this $25 ticket for not displaying his/her front plates!" What kind of person does it take to do this job? I'm really trying as hard as I can to put myself in their shoes. What kinds of pressing conditions are forcing me to do this shitty job? Anyways I've come up with an awesome idea that i'll probably go to jail for. I'm going to write a speech and go contest one of these god damn tickets and read this shit to anyone who will listen.
Saturday, March 05, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
the truth
I'll show you what it does...
How it is...
And what it... do.
I want to start rapping or at the very least writing. I don't know if I really have the voice or flow to do it, that's my only real hangup.
If you play the dvd at the same time that you start the cd, you gon' see that they sync up, and if you happen to doubt just play the cd while you watch the tv and you gon' see that i'm doin' what i'm rappin' about. Chea!
How it is...
And what it... do.
I want to start rapping or at the very least writing. I don't know if I really have the voice or flow to do it, that's my only real hangup.
If you play the dvd at the same time that you start the cd, you gon' see that they sync up, and if you happen to doubt just play the cd while you watch the tv and you gon' see that i'm doin' what i'm rappin' about. Chea!
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
slaughterous and bloodthirsty
I'm listening to Ajico, which is hardly homicidal music. If anything it's suicidal but that's fine, I'm feeling conflicted. I'm sort of dizzy sitting in the dark listening to this coughing like a madman and had the urge to write here. Not sure why, I think it's because a couple people have asked about it recently. Maybe because I feel like I need to do something that has made me feel important in the past. I have class in four hours and I just finished my little verse to Marc on facebook so I have no idea what I should write. I'll try not to rap here.
At times I think my brother may be the crazier of us two, but then maybe I have the same feelings as him and just fight through them in stead of deal with them. I'm saying this so that he'll see this and we'll talk about it, but that won't happen. He won't read this (I wanted to say "until it's too late", but that's not really apt. I would even say "in time" but that is misleading also) in a timely manner. I really need to move out. I want to start reading more, but that's impossible with certain people around, or maybe anyone around really. A bug has burrowed into the dermis. What kind of bug is it. I'm not going to try and determine that, it's just going to creep me out.
Chores I hate doing: cutting toe nails, shaving, laundry, being a normal human being.
Hey how's it goin? goo... large mocha? do you want whip on that? that'll be three fifty, what's your name? Chief?.. oh STEVE, thanks a lot. I can help the next person in line right over here. Not much lucidity here sorry. Hey how're you?... oh I'm alri... small nonfat latte? what's your name? Farinda? alright that's three dollars. Thanks a lot.
I ride a fucking bicycle everywhere, still go to community college, should have graduated from an actual school two years ago if I wasn't such human waste, barely ever change clothes, can't carry a conversation to save my life, am literally incapable of regarding anything seriously, bite my nails, generally just a nervous wreck, scrawny-gaunt-skeletonfucker, losing my goddamn hair, huge nerd, obsessed with things maybe fifty people on the entire planet give the tiniest fuck about, get enough sleep once every couple weeks, literally don't fit in anywhere, never going to age past about thirteen mentally, so non-confrontational it hurts, possibly too mentally challenged to learn a language that wasn't beat into his skull since he was born, hates quite a bit more than he lets on (which is a fucking feat), vocabulary consists of a kindergartner's + fuck, is incredibly fake in ninety nine percent of conversations just wants to say fuck off and be alone again, has less culture than Julia Roberts, would fuck a redwood if it had a vagina, has perfect eyesight (this is negative because I want to wear glasses so people think I'm smart), shows no emotion whatsoever, doesn't even want to think about the amount of time literally wasted watching t.v., I lie a ton for no reason at all, smells everything (everything), I find it difficult to brush my teeth (twenty three years old), wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight, and I occasionally don't wear socks. I suck so bad I couldn't even keep track of what tense I was writing in. Hey I'm thinking about keeping this list up to date, does that sound like a good time? Marinating...
At times I think my brother may be the crazier of us two, but then maybe I have the same feelings as him and just fight through them in stead of deal with them. I'm saying this so that he'll see this and we'll talk about it, but that won't happen. He won't read this (I wanted to say "until it's too late", but that's not really apt. I would even say "in time" but that is misleading also) in a timely manner. I really need to move out. I want to start reading more, but that's impossible with certain people around, or maybe anyone around really. A bug has burrowed into the dermis. What kind of bug is it. I'm not going to try and determine that, it's just going to creep me out.
Chores I hate doing: cutting toe nails, shaving, laundry, being a normal human being.
Hey how's it goin? goo... large mocha? do you want whip on that? that'll be three fifty, what's your name? Chief?.. oh STEVE, thanks a lot. I can help the next person in line right over here. Not much lucidity here sorry. Hey how're you?... oh I'm alri... small nonfat latte? what's your name? Farinda? alright that's three dollars. Thanks a lot.
I ride a fucking bicycle everywhere, still go to community college, should have graduated from an actual school two years ago if I wasn't such human waste, barely ever change clothes, can't carry a conversation to save my life, am literally incapable of regarding anything seriously, bite my nails, generally just a nervous wreck, scrawny-gaunt-skeletonfucker, losing my goddamn hair, huge nerd, obsessed with things maybe fifty people on the entire planet give the tiniest fuck about, get enough sleep once every couple weeks, literally don't fit in anywhere, never going to age past about thirteen mentally, so non-confrontational it hurts, possibly too mentally challenged to learn a language that wasn't beat into his skull since he was born, hates quite a bit more than he lets on (which is a fucking feat), vocabulary consists of a kindergartner's + fuck, is incredibly fake in ninety nine percent of conversations just wants to say fuck off and be alone again, has less culture than Julia Roberts, would fuck a redwood if it had a vagina, has perfect eyesight (this is negative because I want to wear glasses so people think I'm smart), shows no emotion whatsoever, doesn't even want to think about the amount of time literally wasted watching t.v., I lie a ton for no reason at all, smells everything (everything), I find it difficult to brush my teeth (twenty three years old), wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight, and I occasionally don't wear socks. I suck so bad I couldn't even keep track of what tense I was writing in. Hey I'm thinking about keeping this list up to date, does that sound like a good time? Marinating...
Friday, July 09, 2010
just changed my name
On google because I got all paranoid since I was able to find myself on google. I am now Fuu Manchu, hopefully nobody will be terribly confused. Having a shitty week, just got three flat tires in three days.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
hey fuckheads
have you been clicking the ads to contribute to my alternate source of revenue to continue this facade that I call a life? just kidding, informal poll time.
In what order do you perform tasks in the shower? Here's my conditioner trick: I shampoo and wash the hair then put the conditioner in. Here's the tricky part. I leave it in while I wash my chiseled body then after it's worked its magic I wash that shit out and I'm done! At some point in there sometimes I shave my back. My average shower lasts about ten minutes. i DO NOT dawdle.
I had a redbull at work because they insist on training people during the closing shifts now, pretty sure it's a conspiracy to make me leave. Now I can't sleep. I've been reading this which kind of inspired me to write something here. I was looking through some flikr from people with some talent and just got me thinking about my talent and if anyone gives a shit about what I try and get out of me. It pisses me off because all the time I'm thinking about ideas for short stories and the like and I never follow up on it.
I was thinking about how true that Patton Oswalt joke is. On open mic nights it really is the fucking crazy people whose insanity is true comedic genius. To me, the internet is a giant open mic night. A teenager pouring their heart out in a run-on sentence, a conspiracy theorist believing they found their soapbox, hipsters juxtaposing themselves with the general public, 4chan people who don't realize how FUCKING STUPID they sound, I could go on really. It just makes me feel... superior. I swear to god if I ever spell out lawl I give anyone who reads this post permission to brutally murder me.
Anyways I think I'm coming off a little pessimistic here. The optimist says, "The glass is half full." The pessimist says, "The glass is half empty." The rationalist says, "This glass is twice as big as it needs to be." - from a book I got recently about understanding philosophy through humor. Next post is gonna be a short story, fuck it. Got this song stuck in my head. Let it wriggle its way into yours.
In what order do you perform tasks in the shower? Here's my conditioner trick: I shampoo and wash the hair then put the conditioner in. Here's the tricky part. I leave it in while I wash my chiseled body then after it's worked its magic I wash that shit out and I'm done! At some point in there sometimes I shave my back. My average shower lasts about ten minutes. i DO NOT dawdle.
I had a redbull at work because they insist on training people during the closing shifts now, pretty sure it's a conspiracy to make me leave. Now I can't sleep. I've been reading this which kind of inspired me to write something here. I was looking through some flikr from people with some talent and just got me thinking about my talent and if anyone gives a shit about what I try and get out of me. It pisses me off because all the time I'm thinking about ideas for short stories and the like and I never follow up on it.
I was thinking about how true that Patton Oswalt joke is. On open mic nights it really is the fucking crazy people whose insanity is true comedic genius. To me, the internet is a giant open mic night. A teenager pouring their heart out in a run-on sentence, a conspiracy theorist believing they found their soapbox, hipsters juxtaposing themselves with the general public, 4chan people who don't realize how FUCKING STUPID they sound, I could go on really. It just makes me feel... superior. I swear to god if I ever spell out lawl I give anyone who reads this post permission to brutally murder me.
Anyways I think I'm coming off a little pessimistic here. The optimist says, "The glass is half full." The pessimist says, "The glass is half empty." The rationalist says, "This glass is twice as big as it needs to be." - from a book I got recently about understanding philosophy through humor. Next post is gonna be a short story, fuck it. Got this song stuck in my head. Let it wriggle its way into yours.
Friday, February 26, 2010
ugh
So I've been ridiculously sick for the past week and a half. Last Saturday night I went to see Shutter Island with Marina, during the first five minutes I started to get the chills and about twenty minutes after that I started to get a fever.
Shutter Island was such a great movie. I'm the kind of person who goes into a movie trying to figure out the twists and shit before they're revealed. Needless to say my head exploded watching this movie. At some point I had to just give up and take it for what it was. When we came out we had completely different conceptions as to what just happened for the past 138 minutes. Anyways there's a lot of stuff I feel I need to read the book to understand so I plan to do that after I finish my current one, which is turning out to be a juggernaut in itself.
I've always been an advocate of wrap based snacking, but I'm afraid I can't advocate this new McSnack-Wrap (I have no idea how to grammarize that). Even with extra mac sauce and onions (which is coincidentally how I enjoy my McDoubles) it's just not worth it. I'd rather have those big juicy beef patties on a sesame seed bun, buh dah bah bah bah, I'm lovin it. I'm sorry about all my allusions to meat because I know about 75% of the people reading this are vegetarians...
Sorry to digress, I ended up having bronchitis but on top of that Sunday night, early Monday morning I started throwing everything up. This was disturbing at first because I was throwing up pizza sauce, red gatorade, and cherry soda, so I thought I was just throwing up radioactive blood. I spent about six hours at the clinic waiting out Marinas shift, passed out and slept literally the rest of Monday. Now the rest of the week my appetite has been totally FUCKED UP and we'll see how life continues on Monday when I go back to work. I'll put some pics up from the Chinese New Years parade later, gung hay fat choy, sun nin fai lok. I'm gonna go lie down.
Shutter Island was such a great movie. I'm the kind of person who goes into a movie trying to figure out the twists and shit before they're revealed. Needless to say my head exploded watching this movie. At some point I had to just give up and take it for what it was. When we came out we had completely different conceptions as to what just happened for the past 138 minutes. Anyways there's a lot of stuff I feel I need to read the book to understand so I plan to do that after I finish my current one, which is turning out to be a juggernaut in itself.
I've always been an advocate of wrap based snacking, but I'm afraid I can't advocate this new McSnack-Wrap (I have no idea how to grammarize that). Even with extra mac sauce and onions (which is coincidentally how I enjoy my McDoubles) it's just not worth it. I'd rather have those big juicy beef patties on a sesame seed bun, buh dah bah bah bah, I'm lovin it. I'm sorry about all my allusions to meat because I know about 75% of the people reading this are vegetarians...
Sorry to digress, I ended up having bronchitis but on top of that Sunday night, early Monday morning I started throwing everything up. This was disturbing at first because I was throwing up pizza sauce, red gatorade, and cherry soda, so I thought I was just throwing up radioactive blood. I spent about six hours at the clinic waiting out Marinas shift, passed out and slept literally the rest of Monday. Now the rest of the week my appetite has been totally FUCKED UP and we'll see how life continues on Monday when I go back to work. I'll put some pics up from the Chinese New Years parade later, gung hay fat choy, sun nin fai lok. I'm gonna go lie down.
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