it turns out

The Gila Monster was my method of transportation to the madhouse. This was a relief since the train was starting to become burdensome, i was sick of quiet passages to and from work with which to read my novels. I hopped on the patent leather saddle (which came out of my first weeks pay) and spurred the large venomous lizard into a frenzied run. I tried to inform it, with slight kicks to the solar plexus, that it was in fact going the opposite direction of work. Unfortunately it misconstrued the kicks as my way of accelerating it's already blistering pace. Stuff be gettin' lost in translation like bill murray. After a dizzying ninety degree turn on to harlem it performed a twenty foot vertical jump on to the train. Turns out we would be taking the train after all.

On a lighter note...

The t-pain boat one is pretty damn funny too, this is the only funny stuff left in SNL